Now THAT feels like a killer at times. It personifies the line between sanity and absolute pandemonium in my heart. Not sanity, PEACE. But it all hinges on that decision. Peace doesn't always come when I pray and ask for it. It does always come when I choose not to be anxious, but with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present my requests to God (Phil. 4:6-7). The promise there states that the peace that passes all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Who doesn't want that? Who couldn't always use some of that? Let's be serious.
But that decision. Man! It's so unnatural for us. It truly is. Not intuitive. Antithetical. Sheer choice grounded in faith. Many times it almost seems experimental. But you've got to start somewhere. Truly, what are your choices? If you could handle the situation to begin with, worry wouldn't be the temptation.
Speaking of worry...If we're honest, we find a bit of comfort in it, don't we? At least you'll admit that we find familiarity there. That's what we really like, right? What we know. Those faith ledges, whew! Somebody could get killed out there. Or worse, humiliated! That's about how we rank those when we're honest. Maybe that's just me. I just really like control. I know better, based on Scripture, but I like my facade of control. Is that where my worry comes from? My assumption that it's within my power to alter or manipulate a situation? Geesh, this is getting ugly.
I'm going to stop my hyper-analysis there. I DO know it's not worth it. It's not worth it NOT to trust God. Jesus freed us up to live much fuller lives than that. Worry is a cage, an oppressor, and a crutch. Grow my faith, God. There will be much bigger unknowns throughout my life. May we each walk out on the ledges we currently have in front of us so that we can know the "abundant life" (John 10:10) You came to give us.
But that decision. Man! It's so unnatural for us. It truly is. Not intuitive. Antithetical. Sheer choice grounded in faith. Many times it almost seems experimental. But you've got to start somewhere. Truly, what are your choices? If you could handle the situation to begin with, worry wouldn't be the temptation.
Speaking of worry...If we're honest, we find a bit of comfort in it, don't we? At least you'll admit that we find familiarity there. That's what we really like, right? What we know. Those faith ledges, whew! Somebody could get killed out there. Or worse, humiliated! That's about how we rank those when we're honest. Maybe that's just me. I just really like control. I know better, based on Scripture, but I like my facade of control. Is that where my worry comes from? My assumption that it's within my power to alter or manipulate a situation? Geesh, this is getting ugly.
I'm going to stop my hyper-analysis there. I DO know it's not worth it. It's not worth it NOT to trust God. Jesus freed us up to live much fuller lives than that. Worry is a cage, an oppressor, and a crutch. Grow my faith, God. There will be much bigger unknowns throughout my life. May we each walk out on the ledges we currently have in front of us so that we can know the "abundant life" (John 10:10) You came to give us.
I love this! Every year on my birthday I pick a phrase/motto to live by for the year that I use to keep me focused/grounded. This year I picked a quote from the Hubs..."Control is an illusion". I pride myself on being in control of my routine, my home, my family and it running like a well oiled ship. Having children has definitely challenged this gift I have, but whatever. We firstborns get such a bad rap for this don't you think? Anyway, I lost my job in Dec (hence the move to WA) and my sense of control collapsed. "Our bubble was popped" as Trevor and I like to say. But, I really had this emotional/spiritual meltdown where God was telling me "Look girlie, you are not in Control, you have never been in Control and you never will be in Control. That CEO that hired you and fired you is just a man. That house you bought 8 months ago, it's just wood and bricks." So it took me about 2 months to pick myself up, lay the ego aside, face the humiliation and realize I had placed my dependency in the wrong person. We finally came to the conclusion that if this is what it takes for us to learn where our true dependency lies and who really is in Control...then bring it. So...here we are in the great PNW!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, sorry I wrote a book this is just an issue that is near and dear to my heart at the moment. Would love to catch up with you in person sometime.